Ask Amy: Son’s friend asked to stay temporarily and never left

Dear Amy: My son has a friend, ‘Brett’, whose mother died not long ago.

Brett and his wife had to move out of his mother’s property. Brett asked me if they could temporarily park their motor home in my driveway. I told them they could park it there temporarily.

In no time, my possessions became trash, a storage bin, and a pile of trash. I told Brett and his wife they needed to clean up and gave them a month and a half because they had so much stuff. On the last day of the deadline, they decided to start cleaning.

Finally, they unloaded the three cars that were stored on my property. There are still things everywhere. They don’t pay rent or help with anything else.

I wrote them a letter telling them I wanted them to move but they are still here. I didn’t want to tell them that they were trespassing now, but they took advantage of my generosity and kindness.

They are now connected to my current and don’t want to help with the costs. What are your thoughts?

Upset: You have written ‘Brett’ and his wife a letter telling them you want them to vacate your property. They decided to steal your electricity.

At this point, you should contact your local sheriff or police department and ask for their advice and intervention.

You should write them another letter (even better, get a lawyer to do it) telling them the exact date they “must” vacate your property. They are no longer welcome. they are trespassing and must go. Do this immediately.

You do not mention your son’s reaction to this insult and aggression. He appears to have had a role in brokering this deal. If so, it should help you step in and support your efforts to clear them up.

Dear Amy: I have been with my husband for 18 years (married for two years). We have two children. His mother was never good to me. She is very passive-aggressive. She acts like I stole her son from her.

I used to brush it, but it took a turn for the worse after our first baby was born. They have only visited twice (they live far apart) but her behavior includes: asking for group photos without me in them. saying my cooking was “just okay”; and — worst of all — I left a voicemail (accidentally) calling me in disgust for not answering the phone.

I had a horrible c-section and my baby was in the NICU.

It always rains the happiest moments of my life, constantly posting on Facebook. He will post 30 memes a day that I think are aimed at me.

My husband recently admitted that he hates me.

I know I’d be happier if it wasn’t. My kids would have a happier mom if I didn’t have to put up with it. I’ve taken breaks from Facebook because of her, but it’s the only way I can connect with my family, who also live far away.

My husband doesn’t want to get involved and I don’t blame him. We buy her gifts and call her, but it’s not enough. He is always looking for gifts, but never gives in return.

I really don’t like her negative energy and I don’t know what to do about it. Your advice please?

— Tired of being bullied

Tired: Your mother-in-law lives far away from you and does not visit.

Other than those times you do get in touch with her, your main contact with her seems to be through Facebook.

She sounds like an evil meme queen. You are also sensitized and hyper-aware of her passive-aggressiveness. Passive aggression is difficult to deal with. Minimizing access will help.

Unfriend her, block her, or hide all her Facebook posts. This is easily done. Without this constant trigger, you should be able to take a breather, stiffen your spine, and defend yourself.

Since your husband won’t set boundaries for you, let him manage his relationship with his mother. Your contact will be minimal.

Dear Amy: You threw away the trash “Dumbfoundedfor disapproving of his brother sharing pictures of his niece Dumbfounded breastfeeding her infant.

I totally agree with him. No one needs to see this woman use the toilet. Breastfeeding should be equally private.

also: Since you are equating a mother feeding her child with “using the toilet”, I will disagree.

©2022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *